American Pale Ale

American Pale Ale
Two 12 oz bottles as part of mix-six pack, $9.90, 5.3% ABV

Purchased at Copaco Liquors, Bloomfield

If tomorrow all the things were gone
I’d worked for all my life
And I had to start again
with just my children and my wife

I’ve never listened to then non-chorus lyrics to Lee Greenwood’s cloying song about how great it is to be an American, and I’m not sure where he’s going here, but the set up is a bit apocalyptic to say the least. I know this situation happens in the instances of tornadoes, fires and floods – all of which happen in large swaths of America – but it’s still a scary, almost completely detached thing for me to think about.

I’d thank my lucky stars
to be livin here today
‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom
and they can’t take that away

America, despite regarding itself as the greatest nation in the history of the universe, continues to build beach homes in high-hurricane incidence areas. Not to mention the sprawl into wildfire and desert regions out west. Our companies still insure these people and our government apparently sees no lunacy in promoting the rebuilding of stupidly placed homes. And that, I guess, is freedom.

And I’m proud to be an American
where at least I know I’m free
And I won’t forget the men who died
who gave that right to me

Can’t really argue with that logic. But the phrase, “where at least I know I’m free” is a strange way to say what I think he means to say. Of course he means to conjure up those countries where the people know they aren’t “free,” but to my mind, he’s asking, “Are there countries where people don’t know they’re free?” And if that’s the case, what’s their deal? And free to do what, exactly? Write treacly songs that attain unimaginable success? Or free to brew decent American made beer, like Hooker’s American Pale Ale?

And I gladly stand up
next to you and defend her still today
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA

No doubt, no doubt.

From the lakes of Minnesota
to the hills of Tennessee
Across the plains of Texas
From sea to shining sea

Hm. Ignoring the shamelessly stolen “sea to shining sea” bit, that is a fairly small triangle that happens to omit just about every single non-Lee Greenwood loving state. And most craft beer drinking states too, except for, I would guess, Minny itself. But Minnesota gave us that blithering witch Michelle Bachmann, whom I sure has a doorbell chime that plays this tune.

From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A.
Well there’s pride in every American heart
and its time we stand and say

I stand corrected. Detroit! New York! Los Angeles! I applaud Mr. Greenwood for reaching across the aisle and feel badly for implying he was a regionalist. But still… no New England or Pac Northwest love? What’s up, Lee? New England and the northwest are probably the top craft beer loving regions in the USA. While CT does not have a proliferation of local breweries, we’re getting there with Hooker leading the charge.

That I’m proud to be an American
where at least I know I’m free
And I won’t forget the men who died
who gave that right to me

Damn tories.

And I gladly stand up
next to you and defend her still today
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA

Dude, I get it. There ain’t no doubt. And this American Pale Ale embodies the American spirit – brewed in central Connecticut with hops from the northwest. According to Hooker, it “is an extremely vivid, medium-bodied brew. Hooker Pale Ale stresses the crisp bitterness, lingering resin flavor, and aroma of American hops which are characteristic of the most distinctive West Coast Ales. The caramel sweetness of the malt balances the chock-full-of-hops flavor to yield a complex but quite refreshing brew.”

And I’m proud to be and American
where at least I know I’m free
And I won’t forget the men who died
who gave that right to me

No one would disagree that the “free” part of this stuff is somewhat debatable. We live with a ton of restrictions. Even John Galt would agree that some of these restrictions are necessary to maintain society. It’s nice that Connecticut has finally eased some of the restrictions on our local breweries and package stores. But many remain (relative to other states). One is that breweries can only give out 6 oz. (or so) samples. Hooker, with its handsomely appointed tasting room and very well-attended tastings, because a bit of a hamstrung clown-show with patrons never leaving the lines to the taps because their Dixie cups are constantly needing a refill. Hooker used to play a bit loose with this law, until one day the Liquor Control Board put an end to it. Rumors swirl as to what prompted this calamity, but I’ll leave that alone here.

And I gladly stand up
next to you and defend her still today
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA

I wonder if Lee would stand next to me though? Since I would certainly have issue with the limp “God Bless the USA” phrase that fills each coda of his song. Well, I’d stand next to him and offer him a Hooker American Pale Ale, absorb his uncomfortably lame joke about the name, clink glasses and take a slug. We stare off at the purple mountains’ majesty and think about the amber waves of American grain that went into this beer and… take another slug.

Pause.

“So, um, Lee. How do you like this beer?”
“Only in the God-Blessed USA can you name a beer after a whore. God bless our freedom.”
“Actually, Thomas Hooker founded Hartford.”
“Was he a whore?”
“No, not at all. In fact, he was an incredibly strident Christian and founded Hartford in part because he found the Puritans too loosey-goosey liberal.”
“God wouldn’t have named him after a whore.”
“I can’t argue your logic. Do you like the beer?”
“It’s alright son, a bit of too liberal use of hops to my taste, and it’s named after a whore.”
“Thanks Lee. You’re non-endorsement is endorsement enough for me.”
“What’s that mean, son? Do you have any Bud Lime? God Bless limes.”

Overall Rating: C
Rating vs. Similar style: C-

Thomas Hooker Brewing Company
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